Helping is the greatest sign of humanity. Whenever a person is in trouble, helping him is not only a moral duty, but also the basis for strengthening our society. The spirit of helping connects us with each other and builds empathy, cooperation and trust in society. Whether it is financial assistance, emotional support, or standing by someone in difficult times—every kind of help has a deep impact on our lives.
But in today’s time, an atmosphere of doubt and suspicion towards help is increasing. Many people are being forced to think that helping may prove to be harmful for them. The main reason for this is that some people take wrong advantage of others’ help. They see help as an opportunity, not as a need. Their wrong mindset and selfish nature have raised questions on the spirit of helping.
So is helping foolish? This question has become quite relevant in today’s society. There are many examples where people were cheated or their generosity was misused despite helping others. In this context, we need to understand when and under what circumstances helping is appropriate, and when it can be foolish.
Who takes advantage of help?
Helping is a sacred feeling, but unfortunately, some people use it for their selfish gain. These people are not really in need of help, but they take advantage of the kindness of others through their cunningness. For them, help is an opportunity to fulfill their personal interests, and turn the generosity of others to their advantage.
1. Selfish and cunning people
Selfish people use the emotions of others to fulfill their needs. Their only aim is their own benefit, even if it means taking advantage of someone’s help. These people always think about themselves and consider the feeling of helping someone as a weakness that they can exploit. For them, help is just an opportunity to improve their situation, without worrying that they are exploiting someone.
2. Mindset: Seeing help as an opportunity
Some people see help as an opportunity. They seek to make their circumstances better by taking advantage of the sympathy in the hearts of those who help them. These people often exaggerate their difficulties or fabricate false stories to emotionally blackmail others. Their mindset is to use the generosity of others as often as possible, whether the need is genuine or not. They treat help as a free resource, which they can take advantage of again and again.
3. Fake friends and relatives who only want benefits
Many times, people around us—whether they are friends or relatives—only come close when they need something. These people are not true friends or part of the family, but they stay with you only when they benefit. Such people use relationships, and disappear after getting help. These fake friends and relatives consider your help as their right, and stay associated with you only so that they can take advantage of you whenever they need it.
It is very important to avoid such selfish and cunning people, so that your generosity is not misused and your help reaches the right hands.
How are those who help exploited?
Helping is a selfless act, but many times those who help get exploited. Some people take advantage of the goodness of others and trap them in their selfish web. They use the feelings, goodwill and kindness of those who seek help as a weapon and take advantage of them. Let us know how those who help are exploited:
1. Applying emotional pressure
Many people force those who help by applying emotional pressure. They present their problems in such a way that the listener immediately becomes emotional and comes forward to help them. The method of these people is that they understand your emotions and turn them in their favor. They make you feel guilty by telling emotional stories, so that you help them, whether you want to or not. This is a type of mental exploitation, in which the helper feels trapped and becomes unable to say ‘no’.
2. Misleading with false promises and big words
Some people make big promises and words when asking for help. They try to convince you that your help will benefit them greatly and they will do something good for you in return in the future. But these promises have no basis, and they do this only to mislead you. Trapped in their false promises, you keep helping them again and again, while in reality they do not really need your help. These people influence you with their words in such a way that you start believing everything they say, and in the end you feel cheated.
3. Not showing any gratitude after helping
When we help someone, we usually expect that the other person will at least show his gratitude or say some respectful words. But sometimes this does not happen. Some people do not even say thank you after receiving help, but act as if it was their right to help you. These people do not respect your generosity nor do they realize how important your help was to them. Such people not only do not feel grateful, but they take your help lightly and expect help from you next time too without hesitation.
In all these situations, the person helping is exploited, and he does not understand that his kindness has been misused. Therefore, it is important to be cautious while helping and recognize the signs that indicate that the other person may exploit your help.
What to think before helping?
Helping is a noble deed, but it is important that it is done at the right time, to the right person and in the right way. Helping without thinking can sometimes create problems for oneself or lead to exploitation by others. Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to some important things before helping so that your help really goes in the right direction and you can avoid any kind of fraud.
1. Identify the right person and situation
Before helping, make sure that the person you are helping is really in need. Many times people make up false stories or exaggerate their circumstances so that they can take advantage of your help. In such a situation, it is very important to correctly identify the person’s intention and situation. Help only those people who are really in trouble and whose problems are real. For this, assess the situation and if necessary, get more information so that you do not put your help in the wrong hands.
2. Understand the capacity of your resources
While helping, it is also important to keep in mind whether the resources you have are sufficient or not. You may get yourself into trouble by trying to help everyone. There are limits to financial, mental, or physical resources, and you should understand to what extent you can help others. Help only after taking care of your health, financial condition, and personal responsibilities, so that you do not have any regrets later. Helping does not mean that you ignore your own needs.
3. Be careful of those who ask for help repeatedly
There are some people who expect help again and again. They take advantage of your generosity and keep asking you for help again and again, even if they are capable of solving the problem themselves. This is a form of exploitation, and you need to recognize it. If a person repeatedly expects help from you and never makes any effort themselves, you should be careful. Such people only want to take advantage of your generosity, and their real need is not as great as they show. Therefore, understand the difference between the needy and the lazy or selfish people, so that your help reaches the real needy.
By paying attention to these things before helping, you can not only help in the right way, but also save yourself from exploitation and fraud.
How to identify who is taking advantage of your help?
Helping is a beautiful quality, but it is also important to understand who is taking advantage of your help. Such people often cleverly hide their intentions and exploit your generosity. There are some signs to identify them, by paying attention to which you can take the right decision in time.
1. Signs to identify their real intentions
If a person repeatedly asks for help but never takes any responsibility himself, then this can be a sign that his intentions are not right. Such people always want to solve their problems with the help of others and never make any effort themselves. They will try to influence you emotionally, so that you keep fulfilling their every demand. There will always be an exaggeration in their words, like if you do not help them, they will get into a big trouble. Such exaggeration and constant expectation of help shows their real intentions.
2. Do they always contact only at the time of need?
If a person contacts you only when he needs your help, and keeps a distance from you the rest of the time, then this is a clear sign that he is connected with you only for selfish reasons. Such people do not become a part of your life, nor do they stay with you in good and bad times. They remember you only in times of need and disappear after getting help. Their friendship or relationship is only opportunistic, and they do not keep any contact with you unless they need something from you. Such people stay connected with you only to take advantage of your generosity.
3. Do they expect anything in return?
True relationships and friendships have reciprocity, but people who take advantage of your help do not expect anything in return. They just ask you and when it comes to giving back, they either make excuses or ignore you altogether. Such people consider help as a one-way transaction in which only they benefit and give you nothing back. They neither show gratitude nor ever stand by you in any need. Such imbalanced expectations are clear signs that your help is being exploited.
You can identify who is taking advantage of your help by paying attention to these signs. Such people consider your generosity as your weakness, and if you are not careful, they will keep taking advantage of it again and again. So be prudent while helping and learn to say ‘no’ when needed.
Ways to keep yourself safe while helping
Helping is a good deed, but it is important to keep yourself safe and avoid being exploited by others. Helping the right way will give you satisfaction, while helping the wrong way can put you under emotional, financial, or mental stress. Therefore, it is very important to keep a few things in mind so that you can prioritize your well-being while helping others.
Setting boundaries is very important when helping. Understand that you cannot help everyone all the time. You have to take care of your personal responsibilities and resources. When you help others, decide how much you can help and how often. Also learn to say ‘no’ when needed. If you always keep saying yes to help, people will start taking advantage of your generosity. So, set boundaries and be clear about your consent. This will give you peace of mind and prevent you from being exploited by others.
2. Do not have expectations in return
The safest way to help is to do so without any expectations. If you expect something in return, such as thanks, praise, or help in return, you may be disappointed. Many times the people you help do not show gratitude or take your help for granted. So, when you help, do it selflessly. This will keep your emotions safe and you will be able to save yourself from any kind of disappointment. Helping shows your own goodness, and even if you do not get it in return, do it for your self-satisfaction.
3. Maintain honesty and clarity
It is very important to be honest and clear while helping. Whatever help you can provide, tell the other person about it with full information and limits. If you are helping someone financially, then clearly say how much amount you can give or for how long you can help. If you are helping with time or other resources, then be clear about that too. When you keep your limits and capabilities clear while helping, the other person understands how much you can help and to what extent you are available to them. This also keeps you mentally and emotionally safe and others do not have wrong expectations about you.
By keeping these things in mind, you can keep yourself safe while helping. Setting limits, helping selflessly, and maintaining honesty takes your help in the right direction and also protects you from exploitation.
Advantages and Disadvantages of Helping
Helping not only helps in personal development of a person, but also plays an important role in uniting the society. However, it is important to keep in mind several positive and negative aspects while helping, because in some circumstances your generosity can also be misused. Here we will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of helping.
Positive Aspects: Self-satisfaction and Contribution to Society
Self-satisfaction and Inner Happiness
When you help someone, you get a deep self-satisfaction. Contributing to solving someone’s problem gives you happiness and mental peace. The feeling is unique, when you know that your efforts have made someone’s life better. It not only gives you a positive attitude, but also brings satisfaction to your soul.
Contribution to Society and Strengthening of Relationships
By helping, you contribute to making society a better place. It builds empathy, mutual support and trust in society. When people help each other, relationships deepen, and social ties are strengthened. Your help increases the sense of mutual trust and cooperation in society, which is beneficial for everyone in the long run.
Personal growth and better image
Helping makes you feel like a better person. By serving others, you develop balance and compassion in life, which helps in your personal growth. Apart from this, your image as a helpful person becomes positive in society. People appreciate your honesty, cooperation and kindness, which strengthens your relationships.
Negative aspects: Possibility of deception and exploitation
Risk of being deceived
- Sometimes people take advantage of your generosity and kindness. Such people pretend to be needy, while their intention is only to take advantage of you. This deception can hurt you emotionally and can have a bad effect on your spirit of helping. When people misuse your help repeatedly, you may feel cheated.
Being a victim of exploitation
When you keep helping without thinking, it is possible that some people use you again and again. Such people only want to take advantage of your resources and do not want to give anything in return. This exploitation misuses your time, money, and emotions. As a result, you start feeling tired and mentally stressed, which can have a negative impact on your life.
Financial and mental harm
Excessive helping can put a strain on your personal resources. If you constantly help others, it can weaken your financial condition. Apart from this, you may feel mentally exhausted and weak, especially when you do not get any positive response in return for your help. This can affect your mental and emotional stability.
Is it foolish to help? A Story of Kindness and Compassion
A wise old man lived in a village. People came from far and wide for his wisdom and knowledge. One day, a young man came to him and asked, “Maharaj, is it foolish to help others? I see that some people take advantage of others’ needs.”
The wise man smiled and said, “Son, this is a very deep question. It is never foolish to help. But, we must understand whom we are helping and how.”
He told the young man a story
“Once upon a time, there was a big tree on the bank of a river. A snake lived in the shade of the tree. One day, a traveler very tired came to the river bank. He found a place to rest in the shade of the tree. He lay down under the tree and fell asleep in a while.”
“While the traveller was sleeping, the snake bit him. The traveller screamed in pain. A bird was sitting on top of the tree. Hearing the traveller’s scream, it found a herb and applied it on the traveller’s wound. The traveller was cured.”
“A few days later, the same traveller passed under the same tree again. He thanked the bird and said, ‘You saved my life. I am very grateful to you.’ The bird said, ‘There is no need to thank me. I just helped you because you were in trouble.'”
The wise man asked the young man, “What do you learn from this story?”
The young man said, “Maharaj, from this story I learn that it is always good to help. But, we should also see whom we are helping. We should help those who really deserve help.”
The wise man said, “You are absolutely right. We should help others, but we should also see that our help is not being misused. We should help others with kindness and compassion, but we should not be foolish either.”
Conclusion
Is it foolish to help or wise to help in the right way at the right time? This question arises when we doubt our generosity and helping others. While helping is a noble and humane act, it is important that it is done in the right way. When we help others, it not only gives them relief but also gives us self-satisfaction and happiness. But if we are not prudent while helping, our kindness can also be misused.
Therefore, it is wise to know our limitations while helping, evaluate our resources correctly, and identify whether the person in front of us really deserves help or not. If we keep helping without thinking and continuously, the risk of fraud and exploitation may increase.
In conclusion, it would be right to say that helping in a thoughtful and prudent manner is the best way. This will not only save you from fraud or exploitation, but your help will also be truly effective and beneficial for others.
